


you weren't there

by Hiirah



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, i live for angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 12:57:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5968137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiirah/pseuds/Hiirah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kai wakes up and feels the cold empty feeling beside him and that's all it takes for him to realize that the smaller boy won't be coming back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you weren't there

Kai wakes up on a monday morning and sees white all around and the feeling of harsh coldness radiating beside him again. As every other day since the past 2 months. He checks the bedside alarm; it's 9.30am.

 

It's been like this for 2 months now, him sleeping alone in his bed, crying himself to sleep. Hoping against hope that when he wakes up the smaller boy, Kyungsoo, would be there hugging him. Or even take Kai with him, because nothing matters whenever he's with the smaller boy. 

 

The smaller boy with big eyes, cute chubby face, beautiful love-shape lips, a height of a dwarf and _oh god_ he's going to cry at the image of the said boy. Because it hurts. It really hurts. 

 

Kai tries not to think too much about it and divert his attention towards the ceiling, counting at the stars - that glows in the dark - while trying to remember the one memory where they hung the stars together in their bedroom. He remembers the moment they were playfully shoving each other to reach for the highest star. He always lose. Maybe it's because the highest star that he has ever known is right beside him at that time.

 

Kai forces his body up, preventing any more memories to ache his heart. For the past 2 months he's been coming up with theories and conclusions as to why the smaller boy left him. And after so long he believed the lies that he's been telling himself, the lies where he is left alone and hurt. He is sure that the smaller boy fell out of love. Actually he is convinced that the smaller boy never even fell in love with him.

 

He thinks it's funny how he always seems to be thinking about the smaller boy when the fact that he's never on the other's mind. It hurts, but he can't stop it. He's too deep in love with the smaller boy and it hurts his being. He's so sure that Kyungsoo was the one for him. But one day he woke up and the smaller boy wasn't there and in his mind it just doesn't make sense how in this world he's soulmate was made for another and he was made to be alone.

 

Kai looks at the white bedroom wallpaper - that's mark with red slashes of blood - and wonders how it even got there. He stares at his bed post and wonders how it turned another color, from creamy white to beige. Nowdays he's also given sweaters - lots and lots of sweaters - and he doesn't understand why. It's summer so why sweaters? He thinks it's because Kyungsoo wanted him to, to hide the red slashes covering his arms, because it's ugly and Kai obliges to the smaller boy's every demand. But then again he doesn't understand anything that's happening in the past 2 months. People come and go, visiting him and checking if he's alright. Why would they even bother? He's not, can't they see that? 

 

"Kim Jongin."

 

Kai tries to rememer the sound of his voice whenver the smaller boy says his name. The way his name would roll off the smaller boys' tongue whenever he calls by his full name was the sexiest thing Kai has witness. The things he did to Kai would leave permanent butterflies and goosebumps and he's sure that if he had fair skin he would permanently become red.

 

"Kim Jongin." 

 

Kai turns his head and stares at the young girl. Funny how he can never say anything more than that. Ever since he's gone, Kai hasn't been referring to objects and humans as pretty or beautiful. Those words were gone, along with he memory of the smaller boy. Besides, the smaller boy was the only one who could take his breath away. 

 

"...yes?" Kai replies with a lack of interest.

 

"It's time for your daily medicine again."


End file.
